Kare Kano vol 15

    In volume 14 Soichiro fell into the trap laid by his birth mother, a trap to force him into her life, after she nearly killed him 10 years earlier.  She manipulates him into being her obedient child, even when he struggles against her influence.  His adoptive parents fear for what this may lead to.  meanwhile Yukino recognizes that drastic change that has taken place with the man she loves but she it lost to understand what is going on.  She struggles with the reality of their relationship, from the very beginning and if she really knows who her boyfriend is.

    The memories begin to return to the defeated Soichiro.  Memories of oppressively hot summer days, locked in a dingy one room apartment, being beaten mercilessly by the person who is supposed to be his protector.  The desperation to be held and loved by her, even though she does nothing but hurt him.  The small child does not understand that his life is not how it is supposed to be yet he realizes that there is a connection he is desperate for, even if it is from the person who's hands show no mercy.  Soichiro, on the cusp of adulthood, realizes the world of deceit and punishment he was trapped in before his adoptive parents rescued him.  He realizes that he has worked hard to attain the level of happiness that was given to him without condition.  he has come to realize that he does not deserve to suffer any longer at the hands of the woman who tried to destroy him long ago.

    He can't bring himself to admit to what has been happening though, unwilling to face the disappointment in his parents, in Yukino.  He arrives home early in the morning, his parents are happy he has returned.  But when they broach the subject of he seeing his birth mother he looses his control and yells at them, fleeing their house once again.  He wanders dazed until returning to his senses, the only place left to go it Asaba's.  his best friend gladly takes him in but tells him that Yukino knows shes being lied to.  Soichiro punches him but this seems to relieve some of the tension.  After apologizing to his parents he settles in to stay the night, so he can unwind more before facing them to talk about his past.  Yukino arrives and forces her way in, knowing that he is there.  he confronts her, telling her she needs to leave.  An attack like nothing she ever expected from him.  Who is this man that she thought she knew?

    She confronts him at school but he tries to avoid the subject.  She is no longer beguiled by the fake him, she demands to know whats going on, what is truly in his heart.  He falls into his terrible memories, almost to the point of madness.  Asaba steps in to calm him down and they see him off to his house.  Alone, he begins to tell Yukino the outline of whats been going on with him, in the hopes that she can save him now that the cracks have opened up and the horror that was his early childhood have taken hold of the promising young man.  She is resolved to do what she can to rescue the person she loves.

    Yukino continues to confront Soichiro, as he continues to build a wall around his heart.  Asaba has told her a few details about his birth mother.  The thing that really concerns her is the truth behind her boyfriends feelings and motivations.  She corners him and demands answers to the questions that are burning into her soul.  She realizes that he has shut himself off from everyone and that he may never have really loved her like she thought.  He refuses to open up to her, to let her heal him.  He has become consumed by the memories of the abuse at his mothers hands.  He can not deal with a world that loves him.  He refuses to accept it into himself, believing he lacks the worth of that kind of love.  He realized that the moment he understood his mother had returned to check if her only child was dead or not was the moment he knew he could never truly love anyone again.  He sealed his heart to protect him from that level of pain ever again.  the day he almost died by his moms hands....the day his new parents brought him into their home and love.  A love he refuses to accept of give.  Yukino realizes that he may never truly have loved her like she thought he did and it begins to break her only resolve.  He was afraid of the world she opened up for her self, leaving him alone to his misery, shut off from anyone feelings.

  Even though he tries to push her away, Yukino continues to push him.  When she see's a severe, self inflicted wound to his hand, she immediately confronts him.   She fights against all of his excuses, forcing him to come to terms with the truth of the situation, the truth he refuses to see.  He wants to be done with everything, abandoned by everyone around him, so he can wallow in his misery and be fed upon by his inner demons.  He doesn't want to accept that people will let problems work themselves out.  Yukino continues to force him to realize that it will take much more than they have gone through to stop her from loving him and wanting to help him.  She begins to force open the dark shell he has tried to make his home.